Teaching Compassion Online: What ACT Training Gave Bereavement Volunteers—and Why It Matters

When Help Is a Human Voice: Training Grief Volunteers in a Digital Age

When someone dies, the first responders are often not therapists but neighbors, friends, and trained volunteers. These volunteers are the steady voices on helplines, the listeners in community services, and the people who help hold the immediate shock of loss. Yet their training is uneven across countries, and the demand for support is growing. That’s where online learning can change the picture—if it truly equips volunteers with practical, compassionate tools.

The research paper A qualitative study of bereavement support volunteers’ views and experiences on an online Acceptance and commitment therapy-based (ACT) training programme asks a simple but urgent question: What is it like for volunteers to learn grief-support skills through an online course built on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)? ACT is a therapy approach that helps people make space for painful feelings, step back from unhelpful thoughts, and stay connected to personal values—the things that matter most—while they rebuild life around loss.

In this qualitative study, 17 volunteers (mostly women, all white, aged 33–76) from two UK charities shared their experiences. Most completed “My Grief My Way,” an online ACT-based training designed to guide supportive conversations with bereaved adults. Volunteers reported what worked, what fit their style, and how it changed their support. Their reflections show why online training is more than a workaround—it can be a meaningful way to build skill, confidence, and humanity into grief support.

What Volunteers Said Changed in Their Conversations

Volunteers described the training as practical, relatable, and adaptable. Many said there was “something for everyone,” whether they liked videos, short readings, or exercises. This mattered, because bereavement work is emotional; digestible content helped volunteers return to lessons when they needed them most.

Several themes stood out:

– ACT added usable “micro-skills.” Tools like acceptance (making room for grief instead of fighting it), defusion (stepping back from painful thoughts like “I should be over this”), simple grounding exercises, and values work gave volunteers structure without scripts. One volunteer described asking a caller, “What mattered most about your relationship?”—a values question that led to meaningful sharing rather than trying to “fix” feelings.

– The approach fit different styles. Whether a volunteer leaned person-centered, solution-focused, or used other approaches, ACT felt like a “good fit” rather than a replacement. Volunteers saw it as an extra set of tools they could weave into their usual way of working.

– Confidence grew. Volunteers felt more at ease sitting with complex emotions—anger, guilt, numbness—without rushing to reassure. They reported fewer urges to problem-solve and more comfort with silence and presence. In daily terms, that meant asking “Where do you feel this in your body?” or “What’s one small step consistent with who you want to be today?”

– Online delivery helped. People liked learning at their own pace, revisiting exercises before difficult shifts, and using downloadable resources. For busy volunteers, this flexibility made it more likely they would complete and apply the material.

These shifts showed up in ordinary calls and check-ins. For example, during an evening helpline shift, a volunteer might hear, “I can’t stop thinking I failed him.” Instead of debating the thought, they might use defusion: “Notice that your mind is telling you a painful story right now. Would it be okay to hold that gently together for a moment?” This doesn’t erase pain, but it makes space for warmth and choice—often the first relief grieving people feel.

Why ACT Fits the Realities of Bereavement Support

ACT’s core idea—psychological flexibility—is the ability to stay open to what you feel, notice what your mind is doing, and still move toward what matters. For grief, this is crucial. Loss doesn’t resolve on a tidy timeline; it reshapes life. Volunteers found that ACT respects this reality. It doesn’t ask people to “let go” but helps them carry love and pain side by side.

Past research on grief support often contrasts “continuing bonds” (maintaining a connection to the deceased) with “moving on.” ACT sidesteps that debate. By orienting conversations around values—love, loyalty, kindness—people can honor their bond while taking steps toward health, community, or routine. The volunteers’ experiences align with findings from broader ACT literature: small, repeatable practices (like naming a feeling and taking a slow breath) can reduce avoidance, enabling more honest contact with grief.

Importantly, the volunteers’ reflections highlight the benefit of ACT in non-clinical settings. They aren’t diagnosing or treating; they’re supporting. In that role, ACT provides safe language and simple techniques that don’t demand professional credentials. For example, rather than challenging a belief directly, a volunteer can invite a “notice and name” moment: “There’s a part of you that says you shouldn’t cry at work. Another part is overwhelmed. Can we thank both parts for trying to protect you, and choose what helps right now?” This is relatable, not clinical, and it prevents common missteps like minimizing or over-advising.

There are caveats. The sample was small and demographically similar, which limits generalizability. Also, qualitative studies capture perceptions, not outcomes—so while volunteers felt more effective, we don’t yet know the direct impact on bereaved individuals’ well-being. Still, these insights are valuable. They show that an online ACT-based training can realistically equip volunteers for emotionally demanding conversations and integrate smoothly with existing practices.

Putting These Tools to Work: From Hotline Calls to Team Supervision

For organizations and teams, several practical strategies flow from this study:

– Build training around micro-skills. Short, reusable tools—like a two-minute grounding script, a values question bank, and a one-page guide to defusion phrases—help volunteers apply learning under pressure. For instance, during a home visit, a volunteer might say, “Let’s place your feet on the floor and breathe together for three breaths. What do you want to stand for in this conversation?”

– Mix formats to match learning preferences. Offer brief videos, checklists, printable prompts, and reflection exercises. Volunteers reported that “something to suit everyone” kept them engaged; this diversity also supports accessibility for neurodiverse learners and those with limited time.

– Reinforce with supervision. Pair the online course with monthly reflective practice groups. Supervisors can model ACT-consistent debriefs: “What feelings showed up for you? What did your mind say? Which value guided your next step?” This normalizes emotional labor and reduces burnout.

– Embed ACT in workflows. Add values questions to call logs (“What mattered most to the caller today?”). Include short acceptance and grounding cues on desk cards. Create a library of client-friendly worksheets on “making room for waves of grief” and “tiny steps toward what matters.”

– Extend to diverse contexts. The same skills translate to workplaces (supporting bereaved colleagues), schools (helping students after losses), and healthcare (pre- and post-bereavement support). A manager, for example, might say, “I won’t rush you to be ‘okay.’ Let’s agree on a small step for this week that respects your values and energy.”

These applications are modest by design. The study suggests that small, steady tools used consistently can change conversations—making them safer, kinder, and more helpful for people navigating loss.

The Bigger Promise—and the Work Still to Do

The heart of this study is hopeful: volunteers can learn meaningful ACT-based skills online, feel more confident, and bring that confidence into real conversations with grieving people. The feedback—flexible, practical, fitting a range of approaches—points toward a scalable path for communities that need more support now, not years from now.

At the same time, big questions remain. How do these volunteer skills affect bereaved people’s long-term quality of life? What adaptations will serve diverse cultural backgrounds? And how can services combine online training with mentoring to sustain skill over time? As organizations consider adopting “My Grief My Way” or similar programs, this research offers a clear takeaway: teach volunteers to sit with pain, anchor in values, and take the next small step. For many grieving people, that step can be the beginning of living with loss—without losing what matters.

Data in this article is provided by PLOS.

Tagged Behavior, Clinical psychology, Cognitive psychology, Cognitive science, Computer networks, Emotions, Epidemiology, Human learning, Internet, Learning, Learning and memory, Medical risk factors, Neuroscience, Public and occupational health, Qualitative studies, Research design