3 – Self-Compassion


📅 7 days

🕒 10 minutes a day

🔀 From Self-Criticism to Self-Support

When setbacks or criticism hit, most of us turn against ourselves. Harsh inner voices fuel stress, shame, and paralysis.

This module trains you to replace self-attack with support — building a steady inner ally who helps you recover and grow.

This week, you’ll learn how to:

  • Notice and quiet your inner critic before it takes over.
  • Replace harsh self-talk with the same fairness you’d give a friend.
  • Build simple daily habits that make kindness toward yourself automatic.

Why bother?

Most of us treat ourselves more harshly than anyone else ever would. Constant self-criticism fuels stress, shame, and burnout — and it doesn’t make us stronger.

Research shows that people who practice self-compassion bounce back faster from setbacks, stay motivated, and build steadier confidence over time.

    Check out the content for each day:

    🕵️‍♀️ Day 1: Spot Your Inner Critic

    🎯 Today’s win:

    Notice when you’re being self-critical instead of letting it run on autopilot.

    📘 Learn the basics: 

    The ‘inner critic’ is a mental habit formed from repeated self-judgments and often echoes voices of parents, teachers, or cultural expectations.

    Research shows that constant self-criticism increases stress hormones and lowers motivation.

    By spotting it, you separate yourself from the habit and create space for a different response.

    ✏️ Simple exercise: 

    For one day, jot quick notes whenever you catch yourself being harsh (e.g.,“I’m useless,” “I blew it”).

    Don’t fight it, just log it.

      🌟 Benefits: 

      Catching the critic in action stops it from running on autopilot.

      This awareness gives you space to respond instead of just absorbing the attack.

      💡 Tip for beginners: 

      Don’t chase every critical thought — catching even one or two is progress.

      🔎 Quick reflect: 

      When did you notice your critic the loudest today, and how did you respond?

      🤝 Day 2: Talk to Yourself Like a Friend

      🎯 Today’s win:

      Learn how unfairly you talk to yourself compared to others.

      📘 Learn the basics: 

      People often treat friends with kindness and patience while being brutally harsh on themselves — a double standard that erodes resilience.

      Research shows that applying the same compassionate language to ourselves reduces stress and boosts problem-solving.

      Seeing the gap between how you treat a friend and yourself makes it easier to shift toward fairness.

      ✏️ Simple exercise: 

      When self-criticism shows up, ask: “Would I say this to a friend?”

      Rewrite the thought in friend-language.

        🌟 Benefits: 

        Treating yourself with the same fairness as a friend lowers stress and self-blame.

        It helps you bounce back instead of getting stuck in shame.

          💡 Tip for beginners: 

          If rewriting feels hard, just ask: Would I say this to someone I care about?

          🔎 Quick reflect: 

          What felt different when you used the “friend version” of your inner talk?

          💙 Day 3: Bring Kindness into the Body

          🎯 Today’s win:

          Stabilise your body when your mind spins.

          📘 Learn the basics: 

          Self-compassion isn’t just mental — it’s embodied.

          Touch and posture send signals of safety to the nervous system, helping to reduce cortisol and ease stress.

          Small physical gestures, like placing a hand on your chest, anchor compassion in the body and make it feel real.

          ✏️ Simple exercise: 

          Place a hand on your chest or cheek, breathe slowly, and say silently: “It’s okay, I’m here.”

          Practice for 1 to 3 minutes.

          🌟 Benefits: 

          Physical signals of safety calm the nervous system and reduce stress.

          Embodying compassion makes it feel real, not just a nice idea.

          💡 Tip for beginners: 

          If touch feels awkward, focus on relaxing your shoulders and breathing slowly.

          🔎 Quick reflect: 

          Did your body feel any shift after practicing physical kindness?

          🔄 Day 4: Reframe Mistakes as Learning

          🎯 Today’s win:

          Turn errors into stepping stones instead of weapons.

          📘 Learn the basics:

          Many people believe being self-critical drives improvement, but research shows the opposite: harshness increases avoidance, while compassion increases persistence.

          Mistakes are not proof of failure, but stepping stones for growth. Reframing them through a kinder lens builds motivation and resilience over time.

          ✏️ Simple exercise: 

          Recall one recent mistake. Write two versions:

          1. critic’s story (e.g.,“I failed…”)
          2. compassionate reframe (e.g.,“I learned…”)

          🌟 Benefits: 

          Reframing mistakes as learning cuts through shame and paralysis. It fuels motivation and keeps you engaged when challenges arise.

          💡 Tip for beginners: 

          Start with a small mistake so the reframe doesn’t feel forced.

          🔎 Quick reflect: 

          How did your mood change when you viewed a mistake as learning instead of failure?

          🗣️ Day 5: Compassionate Self-Talk Script

          🎯 Today’s win:

          Build a personal calming script to use under stress.

          📘 Learn the basics:

          The words you repeat to yourself shape how you feel and respond under stress. Harsh self-talk strengthens fear and doubt, while supportive language lowers tension and restores focus.

          Creating a personal script of kind phrases gives you a reliable inner ally you can call on in tough moments.

          ✏️ Simple exercise: 

          1. Identify the Situation:
            • Think of a common stress point (e.g., making a mistake at work, feeling behind, or facing conflict).
          2. Catch the Harsh Thought:
            • Write down one self-critical line you often use in that situation (e.g., “I always mess things up”).
          3. Flip to Kindness:
            • Rewrite it into a supportive phrase you’d offer a friend (e.g., “Mistakes happen, and I can learn from this”).
          4. Build Your Script:
            • Create 3–5 short lines that feel encouraging and believable. Keep them simple, like:
              • “This is tough, but I can handle the next step.”
              • “Everyone struggles sometimes.”
              • “I deserve patience too.”
          5. Practice: Say your script out once a day, and especially when stress spikes.

          🌟 Benefits: 

          Having a supportive script reduces negative self-talk in stressful moments. It creates a steady, reliable inner ally you can lean on.

          💡 Tip for beginners: 

          Keep your script short enough to remember without looking.

          🔎 Quick reflect: 

          Which line of your script felt most believable under stress today?

          Day 6: Daily Compassion Check-In

          🎯 Today’s win:

          Make self-kindness a micro-habit.

          📘 Learn the basics:

          Habits are built through small, repeated actions, and self-compassion can be trained just like mindfulness or exercise.

          Checking in with yourself at different points in the day strengthens your ability to notice and respond with kindness automatically.

          Over time, these micro-practices shift your default response from self-criticism to self-support.

          ✏️ Simple exercise: 

          1. One Kind Intention in the morning
            • Before you start the day, pick a single gentle, supportive attitude you’ll try to carry into your actions.
            • Examples:
              • “I will treat mistakes as learning opportunities.”
              • “I will pause before criticising myself.”
            • It’s like setting a micro-goal that points your mindset toward self-compassion.
          2. One Breath of Kindness during midday
            • This is a short reset practice — literally taking one slow, deliberate breath where the inner dialogue is kind.
              • Example:
                • Breathe in and think: “This is tough.”
                • Breathe out and think: “May I give myself patience.”
              • One cycle can take ~10 seconds.
              • Purpose: re-anchor yourself during stress without needing a full meditation.
          3. One Gentle Reflection in the Evening
            • At the end of the day, instead of reviewing everything that went wrong, you deliberately look for one thing you did with self-kindness (however small).
            • Examples:
              • I didn’t finish everything on my list, but I took a short break when I felt exhausted — that was caring for myself.”
              • “I spoke more patiently to myself after that mistake.”
            • The key: find one act of self-support, however small, and acknowledge it. That builds the habit of noticing your own compassion instead of dismissing it.

          🌟 Benefits: 

          Small, repeated check-ins train your mind to respond with kindness automatically.

          Over time, this builds emotional steadiness and resilience.

          💡 Tip for beginners: 

          If three check-ins feel like too much, begin with just one.

          🔎 Quick reflect: 

          Which check-in (morning, midday, evening) was easiest to remember, and why?

          📝 Day 7: Your Self-Compassion Plan

          🎯 Today’s win:

          Collect the tools that work best for you.

          📘 Learn the basics:

          Change sticks best when you have a simple, personal plan rather than relying on willpower in the heat of the moment.

          Collecting your favorite practices creates a toolkit you can return to whenever the inner critic gets loud.

          Having a plan in place means you’ll respond with kindness more consistently, even under stress.

          ✏️ Simple exercise: 

          Choose your top 3 practices from this week (e.g., Talk to Yourself Like a Friend, Bring Kindness into the Body, Reframe Mistakes as Learning).

          Write (either on a paper or on your smartphone) when you’ll use them.

          🌟 Benefits: 

          A personal plan makes self-compassion practical and repeatable.

          With tools ready, you’ll handle stress with more consistency and confidence.

          💡 Tip for beginners: 

          Pick only 1–2 tools so your plan stays simple and usable.

          🛠️ Look at what you’ve built:

          • You can spot your inner critic instead of being ruled by it.
          • You’ve learned to talk to yourself with the same fairness you’d give a friend.
          • You know how to anchor compassion in your body and reframe mistakes as growth.
          • You’ve built a personal script and daily check-ins that keep kindness alive.
          • You now have a pocket plan — a reliable toolkit of self-compassion practices you can return to anytime.

          🔎 Your final reflection:

          • Which self-compassion tool do you trust most to support me in the future?
          • Which one was hardest — and how might you remind yourself to practice it more?

          You’ve shown that self-compassion isn’t weakness but strength. Over this week, you’ve learned to quiet the inner critic, speak to yourself with fairness, and build daily habits of kindness. With this foundation in place, you’re ready to carry that support forward — transforming self-kindness into lasting resilience in Module 4.